Simplicity

How often do you find yourself asking why me? How often do you have the feeling that your barely able to stay afloat in life? How often do you focus on the negatives/failures instead of the positives/wins? Most importantly if life feels like its falling apart what are you doing about fixing it or do you just wake up each day with your fingers crossed that everything will change?

If you answered no or never me to any of these questions I am going to call you out right now as I can guarantee 100% of us at some point in our life have succumbed to the weaker side of the journey.

Problems fall into only three categories: direct control, indirect control and no control. Direct control are problems that involve our own behavior and ones that we have 100% control over how we react, indirect control are problems we have less control over as they relate to other people's behavior however we can help that person influence how they respond and then there are the problems that we have no control over.

I was talking with someone who I find very inspirational but was at a loss as deep down this person had no confidence in there abilities. They focused more on how the outside world was responding instead of having an inside-out approach. They couldn't see through all the reactive negative emotions in their life that they actually inspired everyone around them to be better. This is where indirect control came into play as it hurt me to see how this person was responding to the way their life was revolving. I dug deep and offered all my support and ability to just listen in hopes that they would see the benefit of what they had to offer. This person was focusing to much on the intricacies of items that at the end of the day where out of their control and the ones that where in their control required more effort than was needed.

At this point I offered up 6 tips for simplifying their life and focusing on the wins instead of the losses.

Simple tips for daily simplicity

1. Make Your Bed - In a world that seem to fall more into chaos everyday making ones bed offers an immediate sense of accomplishment first thing in the morning. Why not start the day each and everyday with a WIN. This will also offer you a sense comfort and achievement when your day is done and you can end the day viewing a constant WIN.

2. Listen - Not sure when listening became such a hard thing to do but simple communication skills have disappeared over time because I believe people don't truly listen. Human nature is to listen for about 5-10 seconds in a conversation and then your already starting to formulate a response in your head. I know I have done it in the past as most of you have. I challenge you to hold off on thinking of what you want to say next but dig deep to listen to what the other person is saying. You will be amazed at how successful the conversation will be and what you can achieve.  

3. Smile - A smile puts your mindset into an open mindset where a frown or face of distress typically deals with a fixed mindset. A simple smile has the ability to brighten someone's day who may desperately need it. A smile produces successful behaviors and a sense of personal accomplishment. Smile as much for a whole day and then evaluate how much you accomplished plus the feedback that you received from the internal and external environment. A smile is the simplest form of leading a proactive lifestyle.

4. Read - The one thing I have noticed with almost every successful person you see on the front of a business magazine, leading a conference, CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a leader in your community is that they have an incredibly large thirst for knowledge via reading. This time of year you will see all the leaders of industry putting out their reading lists for the summer. I know first hand as I have probably read more books this year than I have since college that reading is such a simple task yet yields such rewarding results in character development.

5. Exercise - There are many forms of exercise these days and with each passing day another form pops up. I will not get into any specific form for argument sake but the simple form of moving throughout the day yields so many benefits that I could write a very long blog article just on that topic. The one thing I have noticed racing Ironman triathlons for about 15 years now is my commitment to health is contagious. My children see the value I put on it so they understand the benefit and they feel the rewards. Consistent exercise has taught me a will to always push myself to be better, it has given me the confidence of nothing is impossible and as I creep closer to 40 I feel so much younger than I am which helps me attack all facets of my life with the energy needed.

6. Language - I am not talking about speaking a foreign language but more the type of language that influence our attitudes or behaviors. The proactive vs. reactive language which holds you accountable or constantly places blame on others. Does your language inspire others to be better or do you talk about people behind their back? Do you say you have to do something or do you say I choose to do something? Do you say I can't which puts you in a reactive/failing mindset or do you say I choose or I will which opens your consciousness to options geared towards a successful environment.

Make It Count!!!

Life's too short to chase unicorns

Well its been about a month since my last post and its not that I haven't sat down a hundred times to write its just that life has thrown us many curve-balls this past month building upon all the curve-balls we have received this year. Typically writing has a tendency to put me at peace and de-stress/de-clutter but every time I have tried this year the amount of information regurgitation was on overload status. So while I will not overload you with a whoa is me blog post I will touch on a few things I have mentioned before and would like to reiterate in relation to how this year has gone for me/us. 

The best new impact habit I have created for myself this year to READ, READ, READ and READ some more. I have always been on the occasional quick read book list for most of my adult life until this year when Amazon and myself have become very close friends (sorry Britt). The wealth of knowledge, advice, motivation, creativity and personality development one can find via self-study is amazing and so easy to tap into. While some books lack in the build up in anticipation of what you thought they would be I still find that no matter what if you open yourself up to learning you can always come away with a pearl of knowledge. 

About two months ago I read a line in a book stating "Life's too short to chase unicorns". This grabbed my focus immediately as its something I agree with and disagree with at the same time. Unicorns in the business world are typically referred to that one start-up that got bought out for lots of money. For every one company that gets sold for a billion dollars there are thousands more that struggle to ever reach the potential of their creator. So basically the author was emphasizing the fact that life is too short to be wasting your time going for the moon when you can really focus on the now and build something that could be sustainable enough to drive happiness in your life. While I agree with the author in the sense of life's short I also believe that life is also too short not to chase the unicorns, not to have those moon shot goals and not to reach for something so far out of your ability just cause its not the safe choice. Life is about what you make it and in the Oergel household we believe in living each day to its fullest potential and constantly challenging ourselves to be better. To challenge ourselves to focus on the little things but also realize that those little things are the blocks to which once built will house the unicorn.

Through all the ups and downs this year and trust me there have been plenty that are to difficult to talk about I have come to the mid-point of the year with the one realization/true fact/emphasis that should engulf everyone's life. Each day we have is a gift so maximize your life in the present. Don't worry about yesterday as its in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it instead learn and apply to the present. Also don't focus to much on stressful situations in the future. I have learned one to many times this year that tomorrow isn't guaranteed so why waste precious energy, time and focus today on tomorrow. 

There are about a 100 things that will happen to you today that will be out of your control. Whether its the weather, stock market, car accident, the behavior of a friend, neighbor or co-worker or close family friend gets diagnosed with cancer. What you can control is how you and you only respond to these situations. Apply the strategy of changing the things you can change and everything else is out of your control and part of the roller coaster of life. When your co-worker does something to irritate you don't play their game but be the stronger person and try to understand where they are coming from. Offer support to the family friend diagnosed with cancer as a support system is the number one thing they need to know they have. Watch the world with an open eye to positive change and you will be amazed that the things you can control will develop and prosper with a successful outcome instead of stress and the feeling of failure. Communicate with people as this is starting to become a lost art.

The four people in the picture at the top are my support team, my laughter, my dinner guests, my cheer squad and most importantly the reason I wake up each day with a smile and know I have to give my best each and every day. Make sure you have a mission to your days and an objective to why you do what you do. 

Make It Count!!!

Personal Legend

Do you wake up each morning with a defining purpose, a drive to succeed, an emotion to a cause that pushes you no matter your fatigue level, an idea so full of energy that others get motivated just by hearing you talk of it and a goal vs. a dream of being great? If you can't answer yes to any of these questions than i beg you to take time this week to sit down and define what your personal legend in life is or should be.

I know your asking what is a personal legend? Personal legend is what is your drive in life and each day you wake up what are you trying to accomplish. What actions and plans are you executing every day so that when your time comes you left leaving a lasting impression on those around you and the world we live in. Will you be remembered for greatness (a legend) or will you be remembered as the person who never had anything nice to say? Are the actions you are doing right now supporting your greater cause in life?

My personal legend has changed from time to time over my 38 years on this planet but the one quest or goal I have always had and continual strive to improve on is being the best father I can be for those three young ladies. From a young age I always promised to myself that should I ever become a father that I would strive to be the best father I could be. The girls and I consistently have conversations geared towards inspiring them to push towards accomplishing anything they put their minds to. My 9 year old constantly reminds me of the Oergel Family mantra which is "as long as you try your best nothing else matters."

I know many people who if you asked them what their quest or personal legend in life was they would say to be rich. While I at first applaud them for having a personal legend I would also ask them to define exactly what that means to them. I mean we all like money as it makes the world go round but sometimes if its your main focus I guarantee you are missing out on something else in life. If you can expand your personal legend to maybe be a more well rounded person...i.e. treat people with respect, listen before speaking, surround yourself with various people of success, tell those around you how much you love them, take care of your health as without it nothing else matters, make the most of your time as nothing is guaranteed, don't live in the past or future but focus on making a difference NOW and most of all have confidence in your abilities, ideas and your personal legend. If you take all this and more into play I promise not only will the money come if that's your quest but your life will be rich beyond your bank account.

I am also not sure if its my age or what but recently I have known more and more people being either diagnosed with cancer or other health concerns. While I am deeply saddened when I hear of these stories the one thing it does push me to develop is a personal legend of always living each day to its optimal potential and being 1% better than yesterday.

Make It Count!!!!

5 Minutes

I am sure you are very curious what I mean with the title "5 Minutes". There is not a day that goes by when that I don't try and educate someone on the 5 minute rule or at least partake in the 5 minute rule myself. I will get to my definitions of the 5 minute rule and its implications on your life in a minute.

I was listening to an interview recently and the speaker was talking about how often he hears someone say they are SO busy in life. Or typical response to that is either that's a good thing or its better than the opposite. I however would like to challenge those people to sit back for at least 5 minutes and really evaluate how busy or necessary their busy schedule is and is it productive. My sense of busy is like a friend of mine who is a cardiothoracic surgeon who just this week had a 15 hour surgery...now that is busy!!! Although back to our friends that are SO busy what I notice is that they typically don't have structure to their time, don't evaluate what's important to them and get caught up in trying to please everyone which limits their time taking care of themselves.

People always ask me how I fit everything in as they see my life as being extremely busy but I typically tell them its all about what is important to you. When things are important and you give it value then you will divide the appropriate energy needed to succeed. I and my family also have ways which we attack each day and end each day which helps us evaluate whats important, what is a must in our life and what we can do to be 1 percent better the next day.

The "5 Minute Rule" or the three ways we use just 5 minutes each day to try and improve ourselves, our family and those around us.

1. The 5 Minute Journal - First of all let me say that I didn't come up with this concept but this concept is one of the easiest, least time consuming, efficient ways to improve you confidence, planning and accountability. When you wake each morning (for those that wake up late, rush out the door, miss breakfast, get stuck in traffic and start your day stressed...I suggest waking a little earlier as this technique may change your life) take 3-5 minutes to write down:
                   
                        * The top three things you are grateful for
                        * The top three things that would make the day grate
                        * One daily affirmation

Then in the evening when your winding down take another 3-5 minutes to write down:

                         * Three things that made the day great
                         * Three things that you could have done better
                         * I usually then take a minute or two and just write whatever comes to mind

The goal of this daily procedure is to always put your mindset into a state of positive, creative, high functioning success. When we can reflect daily on are we on the right course then your daily actions will be supported with a positive thought provoking change in mental state. You will notice that you are able to have a clear head and choose tasks that are important to you and give those tasks more energy instead of just going through the motions.

2. 5 Minute Appetizer - Once again I can't take credit for this one as this one was developed and created directly from my wife. I will admit there was a time that when she asked this I would get irritated as I just wanted to eat after a long days work. So what is the 5 minute appetizer? Its taking 5 minutes before dinner when the whole family is hopefully seated together and go around the take in which time each person has to say what 3 great things happened to them that day. What I have grown to love about the 5 minute appetizer is the impact it has on showing you that in the darkest, most stressed days that you can always pull out something positive. There have been days when I sat down to dinner over-analyzing all the negative in my life and after this simple 5 minute exercise I am not only smiling but excited for times ahead and how strong my family is.

3. 5 Minute Kindness - This last one is something that I have been focusing on a little more this year as I think its a game changer for not only our inner personal development but also has a huge impact on someone's life outside of ours. Sometimes we get so busy that we don't take the time to engage with others outside of our family or workplace. While this technique can be used 100 percent with family and co-workers I find it works even better with neighbors, teachers, grocery store clerks, etc. For example the other day I had to pick up diapers (not for me) and the lines were long at the store. As I got closer to checking out the person in front of me was in an awful mood and was not particularly nice to the check out person. When it was my turn I could tell the check out person was about the explode so I knew it was my turn to help put her in a better place. With a sincere tone of voice and an approach that showed I truly cared I said "Hello Mary how is your day going?" (tip for everyone out there....people absolutely love being addressed by their name...it shows a simple form of caring that most people neglect). Well that one question was about all I had to say cause for the next 60 seconds Mary with ease told me how she has been having a rough day not only cause they were busy but cause her mother was not feeling well. I of course added a few words of advice but the key was I didn't have to say much as one simple question helped her deal with whats going on in her life and by the time I left she was smiling and wished I had a great day.

As always these are just tips of what has worked in my life. I challenge you to find what works in yours. If these tips can be implemented with success then please take them and go for it.

Make It Count!!!!

Perceived Limitations

“The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible.”
— Arthur C. Clarke

Have you ever sat down and thought to yourself what is the difference in our makeup which allows one person to have a no limitations mentality vs. your neighbor who has an excuse or belief that they can't accomplish anything? What sets us apart from believing we can do anything we put our minds to vs. a fear of failure that stops us in our tracks thus limiting your chances for personal success in life.

I am not sure I really know the answer to this one but the way I approach almost every challenge that comes into my life is to use the approach of just START. Yes that's right my simple approach to not limiting myself is to just START towards the goal, event, obstacle, race or whatever is in my path. The one reason most people never reach their true potential and I am a believer that all of us have an amazing ability to reach for the stars is that they never START.

Human emotions and actions usually present in a way of thinking only about the acts of failure, misfortune, what others will think or how hard/painful the process will be. Well I am here to say that yes you will probably fail a time or two and there will be experiences of deep pain but what I can also tell you is these are short term sacrifices to make in order to reach a high level of success.

I recently have been thinking about a couple long term goals for myself and my initial emotional response was a deep pit in my stomach. This is a normal typical human emotion that is completely normal and what should happen. Without some emotion involved in a journey the journey would be left dark and empty. What is important next is to analyze that pit in the stomach and evaluate why it is there. Almost 100% of the time the emotion comes from a level of self limitation or disbelief in yourself. This is the moment when confidence in your skills and an open acceptance that you will learn a lot about yourself during your journey comes into play.

At the end of the day the main reason why you are not the success you dreamed of at one point in your life is because you put a limit on yourself. Somehow, someday you thought to yourself you didn't have what it took to ask for that promotion, start training for that triathlon, a belief that you didn't have the creativity to write a book or basically the courage to become a great public speaker. The good news is that almost all limits are made to be broken or constantly pushed to a new level. Self exploration takes time and effort and along the path to success you will constantly set new limits and push the envelope that at one time you thought was impossible. Fear will be present along the path but I typically use fear as my friend knowing that fear and pain are temporary but the success of growing will be with me for a lifetime.

The picture above is my little one pushing the limits of her life. The great thing about a 2 year old that constantly hangs out with kids 5 plus years her age is that she has no personal limits. She believes that anything her 9 year old sister does that you better believe she will accomplish the same thing. Her oldest sister was jumping on the box so this little one decided she would do whatever it took to get on top of the box (wish I could tell you she jumped) and look what happened. Next time your out with your kids. nieces or nephews at a playground/park watch how kids dream and play with no limitation in their life. I understand that as adults we have bills, jobs and other obligations but this doesn't mean that you can't dream also.

Make It Count!!!

When Failure Meets Success

On my way home from the bus stop this morning I started to think about what have I failed at in my life and was I able to overcome the failure to improve on who I am? While my life is far from perfect and in 38 years I have had multiple failures due to the fact that I am always trying to push the envelope there are three failures that come to mind that stand out from the rest.

I believe that sometimes the path of growth also comes from admitting your weaknesses as someone out there may be struggling and think they are on an island by themselves. We can all grow together and we can all learn from each other as long as we are willing to open up.

1. Family Connectivity - Growing up I never knew when and if I would ever have children but I always maintained a commitment to myself that when I did become a family man that it would be my first and foremost commitment. I have been married to an amazing woman for 12 years, my oldest will be an incredible 9 years old next week and life seems perfect right. Well yes when you look at my immediate family I consistently do everything I can to maximize our time. The one thing I have neglected though is my extended family. My sisters, parents and nieces/nephews have been shut out to a certain extent due to my immediate focus and lack of present time consciousness. The fix for this is simple...I need to open my life up more to family and close immediate friends as they are the ones that will always be there for me. If I shut them out now then it gives a slight jagged edge but the benefit is that no matter how sharp that edge the love and support always smooths out the process. So end game is love those around you both inside and outside your circle.

2. Closed Learning Capacity - For most of my life until I will say 2-3 years ago I really closed myself off to learning. I reached a state that I felt comfortable that I knew as much as I could and what would be the joy or benefit of investing more time into learning. Well the answer is simple...the advantage is HUGE!!! When I say learning I am not just talking about taking a class. I am talking about everything that is all encompassing surrounding being a better person today than yesterday. I have learned to listen and I mean truly listen to my wife, my children, my patients and myself. Truly listening and not thinking of a response before the person has finished will teach you more that you can imagine. I also started to listen to myself and my body. I have always pushed the limits of training but as I aged I noticed if I really tuned into who I was and how I recover that my performance increased on a quarter of the time commitment. One of the largest training tools is my commitment to reading 1-2  books a week. My Amazon wish list at times would confuse just about anyone as to what I enjoy to read. I have such a wide spectrum of items from Tony Robbins to Napoleon Hill to Tim Ferriss to How to be a better/husband dad to plant based diet books all the way to how to make your daughter think you cool!!! Learning is a tool that no one should ever close the door on. There is such great information discovered daily yet also ancient wisdom that has been around for 100's of years that can reinforce your drive to be better version of yourself.

3. Faulty circle - My reference point here is do you surround yourself with people of success? People that drive for perfection? Individuals that just by being close to them makes you a better person? Or do you surround yourself with people that lack integrity? Morals? Ethically challenged? Talk about people in a negative fashion behind their back? Always respond negatively? or always respond to a challenge you have as saying there is no way you could accomplish that? The great Napoleon Hill used the term Master Mind Group to describe how the most successful people in the history of success have a knack for surrounding themselves with like minded successful individuals. People who offer constructive advice instead of negative criticism. Individuals who help change your perspective if needed by offering better ways at doing a task. I never really gave any thought to this until I really sat down and looked at over time the people I associated myself with on a regular basis. I realized that I indeed surrounded myself with successful people and the mere thought of seeing them boosted a drive within me to be better. I however had those friends that never had anything nice to say, always complained about life (they also never did anything to improve it), set no goals and had no drive to improve their life 1% each day. As hard as it was I had to either continue to let their negative mind infiltrate my daily actions or break away. Well success is garnered from what we learn, associated and our mindset. So while I still see those friends from time to time they are not part of my Master Mind Group or circle of trust.

I hope this helps someone along the way and remember that its you that is in charge of your life. While most people think that external items (money, car, house, nice triathlon bike) is what is needed for a happy life they are wrong as its the internal items (confidence, faith, health, love, positive auto-suggestions) that drive who you really are.

Make It Count!!!!

Fixed Mindset

I often wonder what the best parenting methods are or what it is that we are suppose to focus on each day as a parent to ensure that our children are growing up to the best of their ability. I have seen the TV specials, read one or two books, developed an open ear to other parental advise and even searched the web from time to time over the years. Everything came back mixed and really made no sense to the way I was raised or my beliefs. My wife and I have come to one common agreement in raising our children and that is that we will always show them love, respect, always engage them, always be there for them, always discuss everything as we would rather them hear it from us than somebody else and always build them up with the confidence that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to.

This past week during one of our many snow days this year I was in the other room and I overheard a conversation between my oldest two that made me so extremely proud. My 6 year old was talking about how she couldn't accomplish a task she had coming up as it seemed to hard. Instantly my 8 year old jumped in and said "Do you know what your problem is? You have a fixed mindset. You have already given up on yourself. The event hasn't even happened yet and you are already telling yourself that you will fail. Your mindset is fixed on failure so you will probably fail. I suggest that you believe in yourself and open up your mindset to success before you even try." My 6 year old responded immediately with "that actually makes a lot of sense" and that was that as they walked out of the room and carried on with being kids playing in snow. Proof that if you let yourself you can change your mindset immediately.

What put a smile on my face is that they completely understand that how you attack a situation is all up to you. Your mindset and ability to consciously tell yourself the outcome almost always is the outcome. I have been in to many races, situations in life, etc...where the thought of failure started to creep in and what happens? You start to have doubts, you slow down, your posture sucks, your cortisol levels increase, you loose focus, your a bear to be around and confidence in the simple tasks goes away. Where when you have faith, belief, vision or anything related to success or a positive mindset its typically a win/win.

Fixed mindsets are difficult in the sense that its hard to figure a way out of a situation when your in the thick of it. Your vision may be that life just isn't fair and that everything and everyone is out to get you.

I know first hand that life will always throw you a curve ball and its your mindset that will be the ability to see through the thick trees towards the next path in life. I am not saying that I nor anyone else is perfect at this because us as humans are not perfect optimistic creatures. I believe its a percentage based approach to how individuals deal with success, failure or a stage of being in plateau. Some individuals 99% of the time never skip a stride and move on to the next step, some individuals 99% of the time stress or focus on the negative  and then you have everyone in between. We all need to take in, evaluate the world but its those of success and the ones you want to model after that move on and learn from the stress.

Over the past week I have had about 25 things on my plate that I have been trying to digest and apply to next step focus. Well in typical true fashion I was not giving the larger pieces on that plate the attention they needed so the plate started to overflow...which is fancy terms for I started to gain anxiety. No problem though as my answer to most things is a LONG solo run. The long run has always been my go to creative space in life. Its just me and the ability to zone in so preciously on each task I need to take that the runs are usually almost not long enough for everything I can accomplish. When I returned from my run my fixed mindset was gone and I knew what steps to take and within 20 minutes life was a beautiful thing again.

So end game conclusion from this post is your going to have to work towards avoiding a negative fixed mindset in life. I know its not an easy thing to just wake up each day, throw a smile on your face and everything will go smoothly. That is rarely the case as the adventure of life will always constantly push you to learn more about who you are. Its your mindset that will push through the tough times and accomplish anything you put your mind to.

As always I challenge you to wake up each day and always focus on the three key words I love....Make It Count!!!

Also my 8 year old is available for motivational speeches if needed...ha ha!!!