Thanks

Dear Dad -

Its been almost 48 hours since your passing and while I thought I would be stronger by now well I am not. I keep running through my head just wanting to chat one more time on what's going on in life. Da Bears are making moves and I truly believe that this could be the year for them to go all the way which would be a great tribute for them to you!

I had plenty of time yesterday to not only ponder our relationship in life but to ponder just life in general. I always come to the same conclusion that we as humans always take life so for granted. We get into our routines and think our days are guaranteed. I am guilty of it constantly in the sense of one day truly Making It Count and then the next letting others opinions dictate the structure of my day.

There are two gifts that you gave me during your young 65 years. The first is that being a DAD is the most important job there is. Professional jobs will come and go. One might get caught up in the drama of their profession but in the big picture of life your profession shouldn't define you. What should define you is the family you surround yourself with. They are the ones that will love you to no end that the ones who you spend so much quality time with. I have truly grasped being a dad with all my heart and it literally is the best job I could ever ask for. So for that I thank you.

The other gift is the magic of believing in another person. I don't think you once in my life told me I couldn't do something which I will forever be grateful for. Any and all ideas I came at you with you never told me NO or that it COULDN'T be done. You always challenged me to find a way. To never give up but dig down and implement a plan for success. I carry this on to my girls also in that I always challenge them to never think they can't do something and definitely don't think they can't because they are a girl.

Some of the greatest memories I have are of the simplest of times. The fishing trips, camping out in the backyard, canoeing down the river to go catch turtles, taking Jimbo and I to Cubs games and shooting basketball for hours at the cabin in Wisconsin. The moments were not forced but happened naturally.

I have come to hate the word addiction over the years mainly because I couldn't grasp why one thing could over power someone's thoughts and actions. My heart will forever hurt that you had to deal with addiction on a daily basis. I know I tried for many years to help and part of me believes that I could have done more which has brought on many tears the past couple days. My goal in life has always been to help as many people as I can and to some degree I feel like one of the most important people I could have helped I failed. This will forever hurt but what I do know is I can take that hurt and use it for good.

Loosing anyone in life is tough but a son loosing his dad is definitely a difficult one especially when I didn't get to say goodbye. Time took you away from us faster than we had planned and for that I vow to never waste another minute of time not Making It Count! I also regret that I wasn't able to get my book in front of you in time for you to see the project I am so proud of so for that I pledge to you that I will do the follow:

#Crush being a dad to your grandchildren
#Take care of your daughters
#Never give up on Da Bears
#Help as many people as I can through Make It Count
#Don't take peoples opinions or advice seriously until I have had time to evaluate importance
#Teach my girls the ART of fishing
#Find a way to battle against the power of addiction
#Never forget how important time is and how the little things matter
#Show up to everything I do 100%
#Consistently be the leader people need to chase their dreams and goals
#Don't waste another second

Thanks for everything you gave me in life! There were lots of good times and lots of rough times but for all the times they gave value to the man I am today and for that I am grateful. I truly hope you are in a place of healing now and know that you will be forever missed. The love will never disappear but will forever grow in your honor. Thanks for everything and all the principles you have directly and indirectly taught me in life. Its now time to go share those with the world and make the most out of everything as nothing about the future is guaranteed.

Love you dad,

Jake

Constantly refocus your dreams with action

"The best dreams happen when you're awake."

I inherently have always personal swayed away from the word DREAM or DREAMS. I think my resistance was because we all have dreams and we all to some degree never put them into action. So the word dream just becomes a fun catchy word to say but in reality doesn't go anywhere without action.

Those dreams sit within our mind kicking us to act on however we tend to ignore their persistence for what every reason you are scared to pursue.

That resistance comes in the form of the terrible TOO'S....too old, too slow, too short, too poor, too stupid (sorry too unintellectual doesn't sound as strong), too overweight, too skinny, too weak, too bald, too shy and all the other TOO'S that you throw around in your head.

We all suffer from that syndrome. The difference maker in the people that achieve their dreams and those who don't is a level of amnesia. It's the ability to completely believe in the TOO's one minute and the next forget all about them and move forward with action.

I understand there will always be limitations but that limitation is only based on your perception of what your dream is. Let's say you're a young kid and you want to be in the NBA one day! That was one of my dreams as a kid and no matter how great I thought I was at basketball I truly didn't hit the genetic lottery. Most would end their dream at this point! Right? The problem with that is the dream doesn't need to die just yet. I just revamped my goal into working in some capacity in of around the NBA. What happened next was the movie Jerry McGuire inspired me to go down the sports business route. I ended up working for the largest sports and entertainment company in the world for multiple years. I lived out my dream just in a different capacity. My dream never died when I decided that I couldn't play in the NBA. I just adjusted it to a degree of being a part of the NBA in any capacity I could.

All to often we only see dreams through one window, as a one and done and as only one viable option towards achieving that dream. When in reality we can define that dream into many different landscapes.

When I was a kid in the booming 3rd grade I won not only my school's young author competition but I also won the regional competition.  My story about an adventurous tarantula named Stanley captivated my audience and got me some recognition as a young creative writer. While I didn't pursue writing after that to any degree I truly believe that it planted a seed that would blossom later in life.

Some 30 plus years later that seed blossomed into wanting to write and publish my own book. Initially the book was to be written just as a legacy piece for my kids. However once I got into the process and realized how fun, joyful and passionate I was at put something out that would be a game changer I knew that my dream had to expand. So just like wanting to be in the NBA. I decided that why not go for New York Times Best Seller? The reality is that the book may or may not get there but that is not the point. The point is I can shoot for the moon but if I miss I will at least reach the stars. I may never reach the best seller list but I know without a doubt that this book will help a lot of people re-focus, re-shift, re-prioritize and re-think what it means to live a life with purpose and Make It Count!

Thanks to everyone for the support on the book launch this week. The response has been incredible and I am grateful for everyone.

Here is the link to the book and remember to Make It Count!

Make It Count: Toolkit for Maximizing Your Life

Fear

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." 

As I have become older I have so much belief in the truth of that quote. Everything that holds us back in life is mostly a consequence of some level of fear.

Fear that we will be judged
Fear that we will fail
Fear that we will succeed (not a misprint...people are scared of what will happen if they succeed)
Fear that we are not smart enough
Fear that we are not talented enough
Fear that people will not like you
Fear that your boss will not agree
Fear that it will hurt
Fear that no one will read this....

Fear surrounds us daily and is an emotion that is practically impossible to break away from. Well, guess what? It is OK to experience fear and the emotions that surround it. The simple fact that you are experiencing fear shows that you are alive and capable of taking the next step.

Fear helps us plan out what is needed for change. Fear helps us develop a strategy that is necessary to implement the principles needed to combat that fear.

I have carried three fears with me for at least the past 10 years that I think about in depth each and every day. They are fears that I hold close and they are fears that I hope I never forget. For me the stronger that these fears grow, then the stronger my actions are to do the opposite of that particular fear. For me the stronger the fear then the stronger the clarity of what I need to do in order to balance the fear.

Fear #1 - Not being the best dad I can possibly be due to destructive actions.

Fear #2 - My wife waking up one day and realizing she could do better.

Fear #3 - Reaching the end of my life and having regret that I didn't challenge myself enough.

There are actions I take to combat these fears in reality. I call these actions..."Boosters!" They help boost my actions daily to keep fears in check and balanced!

Booster #1 - Show up constantly! We all have jobs in life. Some are paid and some are given to us. Being a dad was given to me and its the best job I could ever ask for. I LOVE having the ability to inspire, motivate, teach, cultivate and drive my girls to be the best versions of themselves. I never wanted to be a father as anyone can take on that role. I wanted to be a DAD as being a DAD is a gift that keeps giving. Watching my kids CRUSH their goals is the greatest sensation and feeling alive. The fear of becoming just a father drives me to raise my DAD game each day!

Booster #2 - I will be the first person to admit that I married up in life. The day she said "YES" was the day I told myself..."don't fuck this up!" For some reason this beautiful, driven, successful, full of life women decided that I was the one for her. Some would say that it's not healthy to have a fear of her coming to a reality of she could be better. I however think that this fear allows me to constantly raise my relationship game. Communication is key, caring is key, gratitude is key and waking up each day loving her more than the day before is key. I know deep down that our marriage is sound but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep working to make it better.

Booster #3 - Not a day goes bye where I don't think what can I do next? My mind is constantly in search of a challenge. Luckily I was blessed to have been introduced to the Ironman Triathlon game early in life. Ironman's gave me that constant, daily need to keep pushing myself into the spectrum of pain and suffering. I don't necessarily believe that pain and suffering is a prerequisite to a challenge but they are definitely building blocks that I needed. They allowed me to strip away my previous skin and find that deeper layer of what I was made out of. Last year my challenge was writing my book. While the difficulty wasn't defined in hard workouts. The challenged was within being consistent, being authentic, allowing in vulnerability and trying to grow each day I wrote. This year has been my surgery which to be honest has been the hardest thing I have ever done but has also allowed me to grow the most. What will the next challenge be? I can't wait to find out....

I hope I never lose touch of my fears as they have helped me become a better dad, hubby and person.

Embrace your fears head on and don't run away hiding hoping they will disappear. Embracing those fears gives you a roadmap needed to level up your "Booster" game.

Make It Count!!!

Your Team Is Here!

There will be moments within your journey when you will want nothing more in the world then to just quit. You will experience a sinking sensation in which you thought you knew how to swim. The desire to quit on the process will absolutely seem like the right decision. The path you chose to follow may not only seem like the wrong decision but the foundation needed to course correct will feel impossible to re-create. Every single one of us will come across this fleeting sensation to some degree in our lifetime.

No need to go into how this happened to my foot outside of I blame my EGO! I had a goal that at the end of the day took over my common sense. My goal was driven partially by a personal need to reach the World stage again in triathlon but looking back that personal drive might have been affected by an external need to prove myself to others. Hence, enter the ugly beast called EGO. His entrance clouded my judgement and kept enforcing me to push past extremes that should have been met with caution. End result is the EGO won...

That paragraph is only written to set the stage for a surgery that I was completely ok with. I didn't fall down stairs, wasn't in a car accident or have some other unlucky trauma happen in my life. I had caused the condition needed for surgery. Since it was squarely on my shoulders, I had accepted the consequences.

What I wasn't ready for was the stages of physical and emotional stress that progressed after my ankle was basically taken apart and put back together. I thought I had done my homework in preparing my body for a state change in my physical fitness. I thought I had done my mental homework preparing myself for what my life would look like for a period of time. Well, come to find out I didn't study hard enough and when the test was placed in front of me I didn't know any of the answers. My world was flipped upside down and while I thought I was tough - I really had to step back and invest into the process of recovery harder then I ever thought I would have had to.

Initially my Make It Count vision, paradigm and principles allowed me to win the day but eventually the stress, anger and anxiety of a new life started to take over.

I would love to tell you at this point that I had the strength to win, that I had the vision to be a better person and that I came to the realization that I really didn't have it that bad...I would be lying to you!

What changed my mindset was four words that had an enormous impact and state shift on my view going forward...."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!" When my wife said those four words I guarantee she had no idea the power they would have on me going forward.

What I had failed to realize was that I was not alone in this process. I had completely, selfishly, internalized my surgery and that I had to deal with it by myself.

The reality is we all have a team within our life. We all have someone we can turn to. The problem we run into is we think we don't have a team, we think that no one will listen, we think people will judge, we think that no one wants to hear my struggle and we think that we are the only person who is having issues. I fell into this trap. I thought I could handle my struggle all by myself. I was wrong as I was wanting to quit on my recovery. I resented the surgery that I very well knew would give me a better quality of life. I turned inward instead of outward. I stopped reading. I stopped writing. I wasn't exercising.

Then those four words..."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!"...turned my focus around and I realized that any struggle involves more than one person.

I started to look outward at everyone volunteering their time to help. My family, my mom, my co-workers, my neighbors, my good friends, people I didn't know well, my favorite coffee shop owner and everywhere I turned was filled with people wanting to help. They were there all along and have always been there. I was just blinded by the idea that I was at this alone.

We are surrounded by good every single day. We just chose sometimes to focus too much on the negative shades of life. We think life is happening to us and not for us.

9 weeks post surgery I know one thing for sure..."MY TEAM IS HERE!' They are with me every step of the way. I will trip up again in life and I know without a doubt it is ok. I know without a doubt that each of these people will be there once again to help me regain focus.

So next time you are struggling to find your path. STOP! Take a step back and see who is standing by you. If your alone...reach out! If you notice someone else reaching back for you...grab ahold and form a team as teamwork makes the dream work!

Make It Count!

Tolerance For Risk

"If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary." - Jim Rohn

Years ago when my wife and I where setting up our financial plan with our advisor his first question was "what is your tolerance for risk?" The riskier you are in the financial world the greater potential to make money is but the downside is higher in that with anything luck could turn and you could loose more.

Life is not all that different in the decisions, actions and goals we encounter throughout our life. The bigger the goal the more risk you associate to failure, burnout or being overwhelmed with the task at hand. There is an ease to setting up goals that at the end of the day you know you will accomplish in time and that should you come across a difficult period all it takes is a slight recue of focus to change your direction. However over time do these fail safe goals make you happy? Do they push you in the direction you want? Are you achieving a level of accomplishment that you desire?

Years ago a mentor/parent figure in my life gave me one piece of information that I carry with me in all decisions I make. "If your mission in life doesn't scare you even a little then you are not living life to its fullest potential!!!" Since that day each decisions I make, each goal I set, each principle I try and teach all revolves around the ability to crank things up a notch. I don't get scared of failure anymore as failure is surrounded in everything we do and impossible to avoid. Instead I get scared in regards to the person I might become. Yes you heard that right....I get scared in regards to the person I might become. Will I have the energy, focus and vision to support that person? Any great journey is bound to change us for the better but are your foundationally sound to support the change. Times will get tough but who gives a shit. Its the strength and resilient person you may become is what matters.

Racing Ironman Triathlon for close to 20 years has mixed so well with my life's mission for one reason. While I love the actual race day I ABSOLUTELY love the day to day training that comes with Ironman. The ability to each day wake up with a plan of making yourself at least 1 percent better than the day before. To constantly try and chase that fountain of youth associated with always keeping the engine performing at high capacity no matter the age limitations. There is risk each day we wake up that injury might happen, that one will loose the love for the game, that others will have opinions that might weigh heavy on your personal quest, and that you might not hit your daily, monthly and yearly goals thus making you call into question your WHY.

Risk by itself stirs an emotion in people that is often negative. Why not flip that negative connotation into something positive and instead of run away from risk chase it instead. The riskier the decision the greater the success. Yes once again you can say that with increased risk comes increased risk of failure but who cares. If you have a strategy in place you can help minimize the failure or if failure occurs fight the good fight back to the top.

Here is the 10 step strategy I use:

1. Do my homework  - In triathlon this is a training plan. In business its studying the market place. Study the success of others and see if what they do works into your world. Don't copy them specifically but allow yourself some freedom to know if certain tools, trades and tactics would help you.

2. Engage in mentors - This has been my number one go to over the years. A mentor is a great sound board to give you honest feedback. Friends in general will always agree with you but a strong mentor will set you straight when your off course. Its also nice to have some of accountability helping you through your journey.

3. Self evaluation - If your not doing this daily you are already off course. We make thousands of decisions every day along with thousand more thoughts. Constantly reflect on whether or not your in the right ballpark for your goals.

4. Read - Knowledge in power!!! We have the ability to study every topic at our finger tips these days. Find that person or business who has done it before and learn about their journey and what they encountered. Not every book will be an earth shattering discovery but I can guarantee that you will come away with some pearl in every book to make you a little better.

5. Consistency - Nothing will happen in a positive manner unless your consistent in your quest. From treating patients, to training for triathlons, to giving a thought provoking speech....everything comes with practice and consistent attempts to always be better.

6. Breath - Next time you are feeling overwhelmed take a second and take 5 deep breaths in with slow exhales. I can promise that in the 20 seconds it took you to do this simple task that you will be in a calmer, clearer state of being.

7. Maintain composure - The success of most of the worlds leaders these days comes from their ability to always maintain composure. They are quick to make decisions but not before evaluating all their options and analyzing what is good for their environment. Would you rather follow a leader who thinks a process through or one who is frazzled and in a state of panic?

8. Never settle - Never, never, never settle for the easy road. We all have it in use to reach that next level of success. Push the envelope until you see what is in that envelope.

9. Time management - Saying I don't have time is a lazy person's excuse. There is always time in the day to chase your dreams. Its when we are not efficient with our time that we find it difficult to stay on task. There will always be time if you want something bad enough!!!

10. Smile - Being other people focused is all about really being present time focused on others. Always presenting with a smile gives others a sense of comfort. This also allows you to consistently find peace in your decision making. Pretty sure when I smile it makes those last few sets of 800 meter repeats on the track a little more tolerable.


In the end any decision you make on a daily basis has risk associated with it. Why not turn yourself into a risk warrior and fight risk with a plan which will lead to success you deserve.

Make It Count!!!

Changed for good...

There are many journeys that we travel in life. One could almost have an argument that each day when we open our eyes we are set up for another journey. Life is not ONE long journey but is made up of small, individual quests that ebb and flow according to our beliefs/mission in life. If your mindset is one of a fixed mindset than you may be stuck in the same journey over and over. You may be limiting yourself of your full potential as either your values are off, other peoples opinions are driving your thoughts or you are having a hard time taking responsibility for your actions. On the other hand if your driving the car of life with a growth mindset than everyone better get out of the was as there is unlimited potential in this energy. Growth mindset only sees the upswing. Downturns or failures are nothing more than a learning experience. Obstacles are sometimes brought on by our own troubles and someone with a growth mindset sees this potential for disaster and diverts to higher ground. Growth mindset follows a Jocko Willink mentality of extreme ownership in that we are in charge of our own journey. Constantly look for ways you can improve the situation. Constantly use the term "I" in assessing blame instead of the term "they". Take ownership for your actions.

There is a saying that goes around in our family (see pic above)..."Because I knew you I have been changed for good." There are millions of exceptional quotes in this world but I always gravitate back to this quote as a demand force for the way one should live their life. Personal connections are the foundation for everything we do. Even in today's society where technology is taking away the live person to person interaction...personal connections are still needed to survive. So why not make it your journey to focus and help those around you fulfill their journey. This will always help two fold...1) It will allow that person to know they are not alone and that you are always just one step away from helping 2)Helping others will forever always come back to help you later on in life. Zig Ziglar said it best with....

 "You can have everything in life you want, if you just help enough other people get what they want"

Take time to listen to someone's story and don't just be present thinking of the meeting you have later in the day or what you want to say next....really take the time to LISTEN to what someone is telling you. Listening is one of the foundational arts of being other people focused. Don't be so quick to respond but soak in the conversation and think of your response. People will give you the answer to all their problems if you just listen.

People come into our lives only for the benefit of everyone in the situation. I know that this sounds like bullshit but its true. Not every adventure in life is gonna be smooth sailing. Life is gonna raise its hand every now and then and slap you around. Life is gonna present you with an individual/situation that is not gonna jive with who you are. In all situations you have two options....you can either get frustrated, angry or shut down....or you can fight your ass off and show the strength of your character in your actions, leadership and ability to always try and take the higher road. I have a family member who is a great therapist and he said it pretty well last week in a conversation..."people are pretty simple at their core...if someone is hungry they eat, if someone is tired they sleep, its their mindset that switches up their thought processes." So I challenge you to be the person that stands tall and pushes those around you to be better. I also challenge yourself to be better. Start with a morning routine of reading, writing, exercise and mindfulness that allows you to be foundationally strong starting your day. Every successful person I know starts the day with purpose and every successful person I know follows what Zig Ziglar said in that if you help enough people in life than you can have anything you want.

Scared

Is there anything in life that scares you? Something that makes you loose sleep? Something that occupies your mind, making you question if your doing everything possible? If you know what scares you what are you doing about it? Do you constantly push it out of sight hoping that it goes away or do you acknowledge the fear and let it pull you in the right direction?

There have been things in my life that I have been scared of but with a little practice or guidance I am able to conquer those fears with some effort. There was a time that getting up in front of people to talk scared me but I am at a place now that I actually love to share a story in front of an audience. There was a time where I cared WAY to much what people thought of me and in exchange gave them to much power over my choices. I then realized how much this didn't make sense and how much energy I wasted trying to please everyone and not myself. There was also a time when I was scared to race in endurance events for the shear idiotic mentality that if I didn't win people would think I was a fraud. The funny thing is the second I committed to just doing my best my results skyrocketed.

There is however one fear that scares me more that anything and is something that I battle with daily....Not being a good dad or husband. I made a commitment to myself a long time ago that when the time came in my life that I would go all in with the family I was blessed to have. I knew from my upbringing that family is the one thing that matters the most in the world. Jobs, friends, hobbies, thoughts, homes, cars, etc...come and go but family is the one thing that 9 out of 10 times is our foundation.

What scares me is that I will fail them over their life. Not in any specific pattern or way but that I will loose them to small decisions that didn't support the daily growth of our family unit. I don't want to be that dad that in 30 years my kids say "dad I wish you came to more events" or "dad I wish you gave me more advice in life" or " dad I wish you where just around more". I also don't want to be the husband that chose selfish personal acts over the life long commitment I gave to continuing to build my relationship with my wife. My mind constantly works in over drive towards the next big goal to accomplish in my life and I typically have to self evaluate what is worth the effort or not. These are thoughts that scare me daily and push me to not be an over bearing dad but a dad who is always there for them.

Seeing your kids accomplish goals they have set in place and knowing at some point you had a piece in that drive is one of the greatest experiences we can have. I used to think that money, material items, business success and race placement where the keys in life. Over the years I have realized that seeing my wife and kids succeed and the smiles on their face is priceless. The first group of items will always be there for the taking with the right paradigms in life but seeing your kid smile or have them say "daddy...a face is a home for smiles" is something that I will forever seek out and hold onto.

What scares you?