No need to go into how this happened to my foot outside of I blame my EGO! I had a goal that at the end of the day took over my common sense. My goal was driven partially by a personal need to reach the World stage again in triathlon but looking back that personal drive might have been affected by an external need to prove myself to others. Hence, enter the ugly beast called EGO. His entrance clouded my judgement and kept enforcing me to push past extremes that should have been met with caution. End result is the EGO won...
That paragraph is only written to set the stage for a surgery that I was completely ok with. I didn't fall down stairs, wasn't in a car accident or have some other unlucky trauma happen in my life. I had caused the condition needed for surgery. Since it was squarely on my shoulders, I had accepted the consequences.
What I wasn't ready for was the stages of physical and emotional stress that progressed after my ankle was basically taken apart and put back together. I thought I had done my homework in preparing my body for a state change in my physical fitness. I thought I had done my mental homework preparing myself for what my life would look like for a period of time. Well, come to find out I didn't study hard enough and when the test was placed in front of me I didn't know any of the answers. My world was flipped upside down and while I thought I was tough - I really had to step back and invest into the process of recovery harder then I ever thought I would have had to.
Initially my Make It Count vision, paradigm and principles allowed me to win the day but eventually the stress, anger and anxiety of a new life started to take over.
I would love to tell you at this point that I had the strength to win, that I had the vision to be a better person and that I came to the realization that I really didn't have it that bad...I would be lying to you!
What changed my mindset was four words that had an enormous impact and state shift on my view going forward...."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!" When my wife said those four words I guarantee she had no idea the power they would have on me going forward.
What I had failed to realize was that I was not alone in this process. I had completely, selfishly, internalized my surgery and that I had to deal with it by myself.
The reality is we all have a team within our life. We all have someone we can turn to. The problem we run into is we think we don't have a team, we think that no one will listen, we think people will judge, we think that no one wants to hear my struggle and we think that we are the only person who is having issues. I fell into this trap. I thought I could handle my struggle all by myself. I was wrong as I was wanting to quit on my recovery. I resented the surgery that I very well knew would give me a better quality of life. I turned inward instead of outward. I stopped reading. I stopped writing. I wasn't exercising.
Then those four words..."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!"...turned my focus around and I realized that any struggle involves more than one person.
I started to look outward at everyone volunteering their time to help. My family, my mom, my co-workers, my neighbors, my good friends, people I didn't know well, my favorite coffee shop owner and everywhere I turned was filled with people wanting to help. They were there all along and have always been there. I was just blinded by the idea that I was at this alone.
We are surrounded by good every single day. We just chose sometimes to focus too much on the negative shades of life. We think life is happening to us and not for us.
9 weeks post surgery I know one thing for sure..."MY TEAM IS HERE!' They are with me every step of the way. I will trip up again in life and I know without a doubt it is ok. I know without a doubt that each of these people will be there once again to help me regain focus.
So next time you are struggling to find your path. STOP! Take a step back and see who is standing by you. If your alone...reach out! If you notice someone else reaching back for you...grab ahold and form a team as teamwork makes the dream work!
Make It Count!
