Constantly refocus your dreams with action

"The best dreams happen when you're awake."

I inherently have always personal swayed away from the word DREAM or DREAMS. I think my resistance was because we all have dreams and we all to some degree never put them into action. So the word dream just becomes a fun catchy word to say but in reality doesn't go anywhere without action.

Those dreams sit within our mind kicking us to act on however we tend to ignore their persistence for what every reason you are scared to pursue.

That resistance comes in the form of the terrible TOO'S....too old, too slow, too short, too poor, too stupid (sorry too unintellectual doesn't sound as strong), too overweight, too skinny, too weak, too bald, too shy and all the other TOO'S that you throw around in your head.

We all suffer from that syndrome. The difference maker in the people that achieve their dreams and those who don't is a level of amnesia. It's the ability to completely believe in the TOO's one minute and the next forget all about them and move forward with action.

I understand there will always be limitations but that limitation is only based on your perception of what your dream is. Let's say you're a young kid and you want to be in the NBA one day! That was one of my dreams as a kid and no matter how great I thought I was at basketball I truly didn't hit the genetic lottery. Most would end their dream at this point! Right? The problem with that is the dream doesn't need to die just yet. I just revamped my goal into working in some capacity in of around the NBA. What happened next was the movie Jerry McGuire inspired me to go down the sports business route. I ended up working for the largest sports and entertainment company in the world for multiple years. I lived out my dream just in a different capacity. My dream never died when I decided that I couldn't play in the NBA. I just adjusted it to a degree of being a part of the NBA in any capacity I could.

All to often we only see dreams through one window, as a one and done and as only one viable option towards achieving that dream. When in reality we can define that dream into many different landscapes.

When I was a kid in the booming 3rd grade I won not only my school's young author competition but I also won the regional competition.  My story about an adventurous tarantula named Stanley captivated my audience and got me some recognition as a young creative writer. While I didn't pursue writing after that to any degree I truly believe that it planted a seed that would blossom later in life.

Some 30 plus years later that seed blossomed into wanting to write and publish my own book. Initially the book was to be written just as a legacy piece for my kids. However once I got into the process and realized how fun, joyful and passionate I was at put something out that would be a game changer I knew that my dream had to expand. So just like wanting to be in the NBA. I decided that why not go for New York Times Best Seller? The reality is that the book may or may not get there but that is not the point. The point is I can shoot for the moon but if I miss I will at least reach the stars. I may never reach the best seller list but I know without a doubt that this book will help a lot of people re-focus, re-shift, re-prioritize and re-think what it means to live a life with purpose and Make It Count!

Thanks to everyone for the support on the book launch this week. The response has been incredible and I am grateful for everyone.

Here is the link to the book and remember to Make It Count!

Make It Count: Toolkit for Maximizing Your Life

Fear

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." 

As I have become older I have so much belief in the truth of that quote. Everything that holds us back in life is mostly a consequence of some level of fear.

Fear that we will be judged
Fear that we will fail
Fear that we will succeed (not a misprint...people are scared of what will happen if they succeed)
Fear that we are not smart enough
Fear that we are not talented enough
Fear that people will not like you
Fear that your boss will not agree
Fear that it will hurt
Fear that no one will read this....

Fear surrounds us daily and is an emotion that is practically impossible to break away from. Well, guess what? It is OK to experience fear and the emotions that surround it. The simple fact that you are experiencing fear shows that you are alive and capable of taking the next step.

Fear helps us plan out what is needed for change. Fear helps us develop a strategy that is necessary to implement the principles needed to combat that fear.

I have carried three fears with me for at least the past 10 years that I think about in depth each and every day. They are fears that I hold close and they are fears that I hope I never forget. For me the stronger that these fears grow, then the stronger my actions are to do the opposite of that particular fear. For me the stronger the fear then the stronger the clarity of what I need to do in order to balance the fear.

Fear #1 - Not being the best dad I can possibly be due to destructive actions.

Fear #2 - My wife waking up one day and realizing she could do better.

Fear #3 - Reaching the end of my life and having regret that I didn't challenge myself enough.

There are actions I take to combat these fears in reality. I call these actions..."Boosters!" They help boost my actions daily to keep fears in check and balanced!

Booster #1 - Show up constantly! We all have jobs in life. Some are paid and some are given to us. Being a dad was given to me and its the best job I could ever ask for. I LOVE having the ability to inspire, motivate, teach, cultivate and drive my girls to be the best versions of themselves. I never wanted to be a father as anyone can take on that role. I wanted to be a DAD as being a DAD is a gift that keeps giving. Watching my kids CRUSH their goals is the greatest sensation and feeling alive. The fear of becoming just a father drives me to raise my DAD game each day!

Booster #2 - I will be the first person to admit that I married up in life. The day she said "YES" was the day I told myself..."don't fuck this up!" For some reason this beautiful, driven, successful, full of life women decided that I was the one for her. Some would say that it's not healthy to have a fear of her coming to a reality of she could be better. I however think that this fear allows me to constantly raise my relationship game. Communication is key, caring is key, gratitude is key and waking up each day loving her more than the day before is key. I know deep down that our marriage is sound but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep working to make it better.

Booster #3 - Not a day goes bye where I don't think what can I do next? My mind is constantly in search of a challenge. Luckily I was blessed to have been introduced to the Ironman Triathlon game early in life. Ironman's gave me that constant, daily need to keep pushing myself into the spectrum of pain and suffering. I don't necessarily believe that pain and suffering is a prerequisite to a challenge but they are definitely building blocks that I needed. They allowed me to strip away my previous skin and find that deeper layer of what I was made out of. Last year my challenge was writing my book. While the difficulty wasn't defined in hard workouts. The challenged was within being consistent, being authentic, allowing in vulnerability and trying to grow each day I wrote. This year has been my surgery which to be honest has been the hardest thing I have ever done but has also allowed me to grow the most. What will the next challenge be? I can't wait to find out....

I hope I never lose touch of my fears as they have helped me become a better dad, hubby and person.

Embrace your fears head on and don't run away hiding hoping they will disappear. Embracing those fears gives you a roadmap needed to level up your "Booster" game.

Make It Count!!!