As I have become older I have so much belief in the truth of that quote. Everything that holds us back in life is mostly a consequence of some level of fear.
Fear that we will be judged
Fear that we will fail
Fear that we will succeed (not a misprint...people are scared of what will happen if they succeed)
Fear that we are not smart enough
Fear that we are not talented enough
Fear that people will not like you
Fear that your boss will not agree
Fear that it will hurt
Fear that no one will read this....
Fear surrounds us daily and is an emotion that is practically impossible to break away from. Well, guess what? It is OK to experience fear and the emotions that surround it. The simple fact that you are experiencing fear shows that you are alive and capable of taking the next step.
Fear helps us plan out what is needed for change. Fear helps us develop a strategy that is necessary to implement the principles needed to combat that fear.
I have carried three fears with me for at least the past 10 years that I think about in depth each and every day. They are fears that I hold close and they are fears that I hope I never forget. For me the stronger that these fears grow, then the stronger my actions are to do the opposite of that particular fear. For me the stronger the fear then the stronger the clarity of what I need to do in order to balance the fear.
Fear #1 - Not being the best dad I can possibly be due to destructive actions.
Fear #2 - My wife waking up one day and realizing she could do better.
Fear #3 - Reaching the end of my life and having regret that I didn't challenge myself enough.
There are actions I take to combat these fears in reality. I call these actions..."Boosters!" They help boost my actions daily to keep fears in check and balanced!
Booster #1 - Show up constantly! We all have jobs in life. Some are paid and some are given to us. Being a dad was given to me and its the best job I could ever ask for. I LOVE having the ability to inspire, motivate, teach, cultivate and drive my girls to be the best versions of themselves. I never wanted to be a father as anyone can take on that role. I wanted to be a DAD as being a DAD is a gift that keeps giving. Watching my kids CRUSH their goals is the greatest sensation and feeling alive. The fear of becoming just a father drives me to raise my DAD game each day!
Booster #2 - I will be the first person to admit that I married up in life. The day she said "YES" was the day I told myself..."don't fuck this up!" For some reason this beautiful, driven, successful, full of life women decided that I was the one for her. Some would say that it's not healthy to have a fear of her coming to a reality of she could be better. I however think that this fear allows me to constantly raise my relationship game. Communication is key, caring is key, gratitude is key and waking up each day loving her more than the day before is key. I know deep down that our marriage is sound but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep working to make it better.
Booster #3 - Not a day goes bye where I don't think what can I do next? My mind is constantly in search of a challenge. Luckily I was blessed to have been introduced to the Ironman Triathlon game early in life. Ironman's gave me that constant, daily need to keep pushing myself into the spectrum of pain and suffering. I don't necessarily believe that pain and suffering is a prerequisite to a challenge but they are definitely building blocks that I needed. They allowed me to strip away my previous skin and find that deeper layer of what I was made out of. Last year my challenge was writing my book. While the difficulty wasn't defined in hard workouts. The challenged was within being consistent, being authentic, allowing in vulnerability and trying to grow each day I wrote. This year has been my surgery which to be honest has been the hardest thing I have ever done but has also allowed me to grow the most. What will the next challenge be? I can't wait to find out....
I hope I never lose touch of my fears as they have helped me become a better dad, hubby and person.
Embrace your fears head on and don't run away hiding hoping they will disappear. Embracing those fears gives you a roadmap needed to level up your "Booster" game.
Make It Count!!!
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