Why Humble?

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking about yourself less." - C.S. Lewis

There is such a variety of definitions of what it means to be humble. Some use words like ego, strength, weakness, caring, optimistic, growth, honesty and authentic.

The Make It Count definition is very easy, repeatable and one you will never forget.

                                          HUMBLE = YOU

That's right! Why make the definition difficult when success lies in simplicity.

Every successful person I have interviewed or had meaningful conversations with have one specific, consistent trait and that is they care more about you than they do themselves. They all contribute to what I like to call "The Power Of You!" Their vocabulary is scattered with more you than me. Their questions are as follows:

               "How are you doing?"   "How can I help you?"  "What's new with you?"

               "What are you struggling with?"  "What are some of your recent successes?"

They are not concerned with sharing the ME. When the conversation turns to the ME then are you really having a conversation or are you just talking to talk and hear yourself? That is a question that I always ask myself? Consistent self evaluation allows me to consistently know if I am truly engage or just reciting my resume.

All of this works though if and only if you have no agenda. Having no agenda means you just AUTHENTICLY care! Anyone who has followed an authentic leader knows that they have no secret agenda. Their number one goal is always to get the most out of everyone in their company. They live the Zig Ziglar quote "You can have everything you want in live, if you will just help other people get what they want." Their personal success is because of others. They understand that we can't do this alone and investing in others is the greatest investment you can make.

In the end watch the words and conversation you have. There is nothing wrong with being confident but that confidence can take an ugly spin when ego takes the wheel!

Make It Count!

Is it sunny or cloudy

Life is about the experiences! Life is about the experiences! Life is about the experiences! Life is about experiences! Life is about experiences! Life is about experiences!

Did you notice that not once did I say that the experience has to be negative or positive? Experiences come in success or failure, positive or negative and growth or growth (ha, ha...there is only one direction and that is up via growth!). 

One of the fastest ways to get the most out of your day and your experiences is the consistent evaluation of your day. 

When you live in accordance with a Make It Count Lifestyle you thrive in the nightly conversations of Sunny or Cloudy!

Sunny - What happened today that was incredible, awesome and went well.

Cloudy - What didn't go well, a failure, sadness and something that bothers your mindset more than it should. 

Take a second right now and think about yesterday! What immediately comes to mind as far as what went well and what didn't. Our minds more often than not gravitate to the negative, bad or unfortunate events. This then typically has the repercussion of stress, why me and a carry over to todays journey. 

The Cloudy in our day eventually does exactly what clouds do...they cover us from the sun or the blessings that are right in front of us. 

Great example is lets say on Tuesday you loose a big sale. The stress overwhelms you, the desire to quit becomes larger and you can't get over what happened. Wednesday starts and instead of waking with an attitude of accomplishment you are still holding on to Tuesday's loss. What could have been done different to increase your production on Wednesday? An evaluation of your Sunny and Cloudy on Tuesday before bed would have set you up for future success. That evaluation allows you to figure out what happened and realize was it within your control or not. This release frees you of carry over stress. This release gives you the chance to start fresh consistently.

Stress, failure, loss, grief or cloudy days/events will happen as its part of the human process. It is however up to us to process and see what we can do to cope, grow, accept and move on. Sitting down with yourself, family or friends and working through your day can help us see what we need to do in order to wake up the next day and crush it!

In the sales example. A simple evaluation could have identified that you did not take care of the client every day. You expected an easy sale and did not cater to the clients needs so they moved on. 

Everything starts with an experience just being an event and from there we decide if its a sunny and cloudy.  

The key to recognizing our definition of sunny and cloudy is in a pure evaluation of where our mindset lies. If you are judging more events as cloudy than you may be in a fixed mindset versus if the sunny opportunities are lining up out the door then you may be in a stage of growth mindset. 

At the end of the day the key is personal evaluation of your internal representation of your day. 

Sunny or cloudy the end goal is to always have a present time focus on what is progressing in your life!

Now get off the computer and go Make It Count!

What type of value do you add?

One of the simplest questions you can ask yourself when you wake up in the morning is, "What type of value can I add today?"

We have two choices when we wake up in the morning.

Is today gonna be a great day? Is today gonna be a struggle?

Both questions are realistic options that we come across each day. Some days there is even the possibility of engaging in both dynamics as life is not perfect and through the human condition we sometimes fight to stay positive all the time.

When we live in a Make It Count lifestyle we are consistently engaging in a life of adding value. The question is are you making deposits or making withdrawals.

Deposits - encouraging others, saying thank you, opening doors, reaching out, being supportive, teamwork, and being authentic.

Withdrawals - self-centered, focusing on the me, ignorance, life is out to get me, fixed mindset, anger, pointing out others weakness's and negative self-talk.

Both options come with value as you adding value or taking value away.

I recently did a personal reflection project on how my patients were doing in accordance to how I was feeling mentally. While I would never take any of my personal issues into any patient interactions I wanted to see if I raised my awareness and energy 10x how my patients response to care would improve.

I brought more energy, authenticity and value to my patients with authentic intention.

Guess what the outcome was?

That's right! Patients got better faster, patients had a better experience, patients left more fulfilled and patients told more people of their incredible care experience. Did I do anything different with the physical component of how I treat patients? NOT AT ALL! All I did was invest more value or deposits into my patients experience. I merely brought a clearer, cleaner, optimal mindset to their care and the end result was simple improvement.

My favorite quote ever from Zig Ziglar states, " You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want." I know if I go all in and bring 100% value to my kids, wife, teammates, patients, friends and community that their life will level up which in turns creates an upswing in the legacy that is my life.

The simple ingredient that started the value was just being authentic and knowing that upon waking in the morning that choosing to have a great day via adding value will allow us to always Make It Count!

Thank for the continued support of the book! Make It Count: Toolkit for maximizing your life! can be found on Amazon. Please let me know if you would like more information of coaching, speaking engagements and ways to maximize your life as currently booking up through the fall!

What kind of juice do you like?

Do you prefer juice already squeezed for you, filled with artificial ingredients geared at inhibiting your success or do you prefer freshly squeezed juice filled with nutritional greatness geared at optimizing your potential?

Of course you are gonna say the second one as why would anyone want to inhibit their success? However that is exactly what we do every single day.

Every single situation or journey in life comes with three integral stages.

1. The Thought
2. The Action
3. The Reward

We see those of success on social media, at work, in our community or on TV and we get googly eyed over their success or their reward. Our minds eye skips the steps in between and we either glamourize what they have or beat ourselves up for not having what they have.

Some may even take it a step further and start formulating plans, thoughts or ideas for how they can incorporate more success into their path. I know personally I come up with at least a half dozen ideas each day on what I can do better as a dad, doctor, husband and friend. The shortfall comes when it just stays on reserve as a thought.

Out of the three integral stages for success, the thought is the longest and most frequented stage. We build up an idea in our head but then once stage two starts we freeze, hesitate or turn back on our actions. We struggle with the idea that it will be too hard, too difficult, I am not smart enough, I am not ready, what will people say and numerous other excuses.

The first principle in the Make It Count lifestyle is what we call "The Juice Is Worth The Squeeze." The idea is that we all are envious of success and what others have but struggle with getting our own success off the ground. We have ideas but calling action to our thoughts becomes debilitating. We worry that it will be too difficult. In truth, you are probably right! Success is not easy. It takes consistent, determined hard work. However it's that hard work that makes everything worth it.

Lets jump back to that first paragraph though and how good do you think the freshly squeezed juice tastes? How rewarding to do you think its to drink the fresh juice versus the processed juice? How good do you think you would feel the next day between drinking the two juices? How well do you think you could repeat the actions of squeezing when you know the outcome is worth it?

My answer to all of these is "The Juice Is Worth The Squeeze." The fresh juice tastes better, makes you feel better, easy to repeat because the reward is amazing. The long, tedious work tastes great in the end.

All of this falls similar into the second stage. The action is always tough because it makes you work. The outcome of the work is success or failure but aren't they both the same. With both we reach an outcome that makes us better off. When we succeed in our day we know what to do in order to reach consistent, repeatable results. When we fail in our day we also learn what didn't work thus we are able to course correct and consistently make the outcome better or desirable.

Hard work is tough, hard work makes you dig deep, hard work makes you sweat, hard work will make you cry, hard work digs deep into emotions, hard work is hard work and hard work is worth the squeeze!

To read more on this principle and more principles in the Make It Count lifestyle find the book Make It Count: Tools to Maximize Your Life on Amazon.

Have a great day and Make It Count!

Dr. Jake

Transactional or Transformational

Whether you know it or not you either pursue relationships as a transaction or as a transformation.

Without reading any further which type of relationship do you think you typically pursue?

Transactional Relationship or Transformational Relationship

Unfortunately most people start their day with the mindset of me, me, me. We go through our motions with the mindset of what can I get out of my relationships today.

Transactional Relationships are based on selfish actions. If nothing is in it for me then its not for me. We use others gifts for our benefit.

Transactional Relationships are focused on the one way street mentality of if you can't help me then its not meant to be.

There is an argument that a business based in transactions is successful because of those transactions. I would argue that while meeting the bottom line is important its the transformational relationship with the customer that keeps them returning for more. Its treating that customer, patient or client as more than a number. Its treating them as the most important individual you have ever come in contact with. This deeper connection transforms their belief in your company and both individuals live in mutual success.

 Transaction vs. transformation also crosses over into your personal life in how you interact with friends, family and your significant other. My wife and I are just a few weeks away from 16 years of marriage and I would like to believe that its because our relationship is based in transformation.

We wake up in the morning with the mission of raising three, strong, driven, accomplish girls but we ALWAYS make time to lift each other up. There are definitely times that selfish needs or wants insert their ugly heads but we are always consciously present to what needs to be done in order to reframe our mindsets. When we are on the same page with transformational interactions then it spreads over into our marriage, health, business, families, kids and everything we come into contact with.

If you are struggling with how to reframe your mindset from one of transactional to one of transformational then here are a few tips:

1. Ownership - There is nothing more powerful in any type of growth than ownership. When we take ownership of our thougths and actions then we take on the mindset of growth. Ownership involves getting to know everything you can about your customer or spouse. When you fully understand what it is that they need then you are able to better serve them. If something goes wrong then owning up to the problem and searching for solutions helps build strong bonds.

2. Listen - One of the most common faults of any successful relationships is the lack of TRUE listening. How many times do you fully listen without trying to formulate a response before the person is done talking? Take a deep breath, slow down and invest in the person you are dealing with. You may surprise yourself with how much you will learn from someone else when you are fully present in the conversation.

3. Communication - On the opposite side of listening is the art of talking. Sounds confusing right!?! I have seen many relationships or business fail because a lack of effective communication. My parents got divorced for a few reasons but one of them was my dads inability to deliever his emotions which then he internalized which turned into bigger problems. Companies fail when they are inefficient in delivering the proper message to their employees or customers. Have you ever heard the saying, "employees don't leave companies they leave managers." The main reason for this is along the line there was a break in effective communication and in exchange the relationship turned transactional.

4. Trust, trust, trust, trust..... - That word goes hand in hand with all successful relationships and is no different in this scenerio. Trust comes from within believing that you have what it takes to offer everyone around you value. Trust also comes from your actions. If you are late to meetings, gossip behind others backs, say you will do something and then you don't and make others feel uneasy with your actions then its almost impossible to build trust. I know my marriage with my wife is based on trust and I know that each patient I come in contact with must know first hand that I have their best interest in mind and this helps them trust me with their health.

I thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope that you gathered some golden nuggets to add to your lifestyle but what I know for sure is that if you don't practice, practice, practice and keep practicing in relationships then we always fall back into a transactional relationship. Success in any buiness relationship or personal relationshp takes consistent, deep work but the exciting piece is that with that hard work life feels pretty good.

Make It Count!!!!!!

Thanks

Dear Dad -

Its been almost 48 hours since your passing and while I thought I would be stronger by now well I am not. I keep running through my head just wanting to chat one more time on what's going on in life. Da Bears are making moves and I truly believe that this could be the year for them to go all the way which would be a great tribute for them to you!

I had plenty of time yesterday to not only ponder our relationship in life but to ponder just life in general. I always come to the same conclusion that we as humans always take life so for granted. We get into our routines and think our days are guaranteed. I am guilty of it constantly in the sense of one day truly Making It Count and then the next letting others opinions dictate the structure of my day.

There are two gifts that you gave me during your young 65 years. The first is that being a DAD is the most important job there is. Professional jobs will come and go. One might get caught up in the drama of their profession but in the big picture of life your profession shouldn't define you. What should define you is the family you surround yourself with. They are the ones that will love you to no end that the ones who you spend so much quality time with. I have truly grasped being a dad with all my heart and it literally is the best job I could ever ask for. So for that I thank you.

The other gift is the magic of believing in another person. I don't think you once in my life told me I couldn't do something which I will forever be grateful for. Any and all ideas I came at you with you never told me NO or that it COULDN'T be done. You always challenged me to find a way. To never give up but dig down and implement a plan for success. I carry this on to my girls also in that I always challenge them to never think they can't do something and definitely don't think they can't because they are a girl.

Some of the greatest memories I have are of the simplest of times. The fishing trips, camping out in the backyard, canoeing down the river to go catch turtles, taking Jimbo and I to Cubs games and shooting basketball for hours at the cabin in Wisconsin. The moments were not forced but happened naturally.

I have come to hate the word addiction over the years mainly because I couldn't grasp why one thing could over power someone's thoughts and actions. My heart will forever hurt that you had to deal with addiction on a daily basis. I know I tried for many years to help and part of me believes that I could have done more which has brought on many tears the past couple days. My goal in life has always been to help as many people as I can and to some degree I feel like one of the most important people I could have helped I failed. This will forever hurt but what I do know is I can take that hurt and use it for good.

Loosing anyone in life is tough but a son loosing his dad is definitely a difficult one especially when I didn't get to say goodbye. Time took you away from us faster than we had planned and for that I vow to never waste another minute of time not Making It Count! I also regret that I wasn't able to get my book in front of you in time for you to see the project I am so proud of so for that I pledge to you that I will do the follow:

#Crush being a dad to your grandchildren
#Take care of your daughters
#Never give up on Da Bears
#Help as many people as I can through Make It Count
#Don't take peoples opinions or advice seriously until I have had time to evaluate importance
#Teach my girls the ART of fishing
#Find a way to battle against the power of addiction
#Never forget how important time is and how the little things matter
#Show up to everything I do 100%
#Consistently be the leader people need to chase their dreams and goals
#Don't waste another second

Thanks for everything you gave me in life! There were lots of good times and lots of rough times but for all the times they gave value to the man I am today and for that I am grateful. I truly hope you are in a place of healing now and know that you will be forever missed. The love will never disappear but will forever grow in your honor. Thanks for everything and all the principles you have directly and indirectly taught me in life. Its now time to go share those with the world and make the most out of everything as nothing about the future is guaranteed.

Love you dad,

Jake

Constantly refocus your dreams with action

"The best dreams happen when you're awake."

I inherently have always personal swayed away from the word DREAM or DREAMS. I think my resistance was because we all have dreams and we all to some degree never put them into action. So the word dream just becomes a fun catchy word to say but in reality doesn't go anywhere without action.

Those dreams sit within our mind kicking us to act on however we tend to ignore their persistence for what every reason you are scared to pursue.

That resistance comes in the form of the terrible TOO'S....too old, too slow, too short, too poor, too stupid (sorry too unintellectual doesn't sound as strong), too overweight, too skinny, too weak, too bald, too shy and all the other TOO'S that you throw around in your head.

We all suffer from that syndrome. The difference maker in the people that achieve their dreams and those who don't is a level of amnesia. It's the ability to completely believe in the TOO's one minute and the next forget all about them and move forward with action.

I understand there will always be limitations but that limitation is only based on your perception of what your dream is. Let's say you're a young kid and you want to be in the NBA one day! That was one of my dreams as a kid and no matter how great I thought I was at basketball I truly didn't hit the genetic lottery. Most would end their dream at this point! Right? The problem with that is the dream doesn't need to die just yet. I just revamped my goal into working in some capacity in of around the NBA. What happened next was the movie Jerry McGuire inspired me to go down the sports business route. I ended up working for the largest sports and entertainment company in the world for multiple years. I lived out my dream just in a different capacity. My dream never died when I decided that I couldn't play in the NBA. I just adjusted it to a degree of being a part of the NBA in any capacity I could.

All to often we only see dreams through one window, as a one and done and as only one viable option towards achieving that dream. When in reality we can define that dream into many different landscapes.

When I was a kid in the booming 3rd grade I won not only my school's young author competition but I also won the regional competition.  My story about an adventurous tarantula named Stanley captivated my audience and got me some recognition as a young creative writer. While I didn't pursue writing after that to any degree I truly believe that it planted a seed that would blossom later in life.

Some 30 plus years later that seed blossomed into wanting to write and publish my own book. Initially the book was to be written just as a legacy piece for my kids. However once I got into the process and realized how fun, joyful and passionate I was at put something out that would be a game changer I knew that my dream had to expand. So just like wanting to be in the NBA. I decided that why not go for New York Times Best Seller? The reality is that the book may or may not get there but that is not the point. The point is I can shoot for the moon but if I miss I will at least reach the stars. I may never reach the best seller list but I know without a doubt that this book will help a lot of people re-focus, re-shift, re-prioritize and re-think what it means to live a life with purpose and Make It Count!

Thanks to everyone for the support on the book launch this week. The response has been incredible and I am grateful for everyone.

Here is the link to the book and remember to Make It Count!

Make It Count: Toolkit for Maximizing Your Life

Fear

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." 

As I have become older I have so much belief in the truth of that quote. Everything that holds us back in life is mostly a consequence of some level of fear.

Fear that we will be judged
Fear that we will fail
Fear that we will succeed (not a misprint...people are scared of what will happen if they succeed)
Fear that we are not smart enough
Fear that we are not talented enough
Fear that people will not like you
Fear that your boss will not agree
Fear that it will hurt
Fear that no one will read this....

Fear surrounds us daily and is an emotion that is practically impossible to break away from. Well, guess what? It is OK to experience fear and the emotions that surround it. The simple fact that you are experiencing fear shows that you are alive and capable of taking the next step.

Fear helps us plan out what is needed for change. Fear helps us develop a strategy that is necessary to implement the principles needed to combat that fear.

I have carried three fears with me for at least the past 10 years that I think about in depth each and every day. They are fears that I hold close and they are fears that I hope I never forget. For me the stronger that these fears grow, then the stronger my actions are to do the opposite of that particular fear. For me the stronger the fear then the stronger the clarity of what I need to do in order to balance the fear.

Fear #1 - Not being the best dad I can possibly be due to destructive actions.

Fear #2 - My wife waking up one day and realizing she could do better.

Fear #3 - Reaching the end of my life and having regret that I didn't challenge myself enough.

There are actions I take to combat these fears in reality. I call these actions..."Boosters!" They help boost my actions daily to keep fears in check and balanced!

Booster #1 - Show up constantly! We all have jobs in life. Some are paid and some are given to us. Being a dad was given to me and its the best job I could ever ask for. I LOVE having the ability to inspire, motivate, teach, cultivate and drive my girls to be the best versions of themselves. I never wanted to be a father as anyone can take on that role. I wanted to be a DAD as being a DAD is a gift that keeps giving. Watching my kids CRUSH their goals is the greatest sensation and feeling alive. The fear of becoming just a father drives me to raise my DAD game each day!

Booster #2 - I will be the first person to admit that I married up in life. The day she said "YES" was the day I told myself..."don't fuck this up!" For some reason this beautiful, driven, successful, full of life women decided that I was the one for her. Some would say that it's not healthy to have a fear of her coming to a reality of she could be better. I however think that this fear allows me to constantly raise my relationship game. Communication is key, caring is key, gratitude is key and waking up each day loving her more than the day before is key. I know deep down that our marriage is sound but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep working to make it better.

Booster #3 - Not a day goes bye where I don't think what can I do next? My mind is constantly in search of a challenge. Luckily I was blessed to have been introduced to the Ironman Triathlon game early in life. Ironman's gave me that constant, daily need to keep pushing myself into the spectrum of pain and suffering. I don't necessarily believe that pain and suffering is a prerequisite to a challenge but they are definitely building blocks that I needed. They allowed me to strip away my previous skin and find that deeper layer of what I was made out of. Last year my challenge was writing my book. While the difficulty wasn't defined in hard workouts. The challenged was within being consistent, being authentic, allowing in vulnerability and trying to grow each day I wrote. This year has been my surgery which to be honest has been the hardest thing I have ever done but has also allowed me to grow the most. What will the next challenge be? I can't wait to find out....

I hope I never lose touch of my fears as they have helped me become a better dad, hubby and person.

Embrace your fears head on and don't run away hiding hoping they will disappear. Embracing those fears gives you a roadmap needed to level up your "Booster" game.

Make It Count!!!

Your Team Is Here!

There will be moments within your journey when you will want nothing more in the world then to just quit. You will experience a sinking sensation in which you thought you knew how to swim. The desire to quit on the process will absolutely seem like the right decision. The path you chose to follow may not only seem like the wrong decision but the foundation needed to course correct will feel impossible to re-create. Every single one of us will come across this fleeting sensation to some degree in our lifetime.

No need to go into how this happened to my foot outside of I blame my EGO! I had a goal that at the end of the day took over my common sense. My goal was driven partially by a personal need to reach the World stage again in triathlon but looking back that personal drive might have been affected by an external need to prove myself to others. Hence, enter the ugly beast called EGO. His entrance clouded my judgement and kept enforcing me to push past extremes that should have been met with caution. End result is the EGO won...

That paragraph is only written to set the stage for a surgery that I was completely ok with. I didn't fall down stairs, wasn't in a car accident or have some other unlucky trauma happen in my life. I had caused the condition needed for surgery. Since it was squarely on my shoulders, I had accepted the consequences.

What I wasn't ready for was the stages of physical and emotional stress that progressed after my ankle was basically taken apart and put back together. I thought I had done my homework in preparing my body for a state change in my physical fitness. I thought I had done my mental homework preparing myself for what my life would look like for a period of time. Well, come to find out I didn't study hard enough and when the test was placed in front of me I didn't know any of the answers. My world was flipped upside down and while I thought I was tough - I really had to step back and invest into the process of recovery harder then I ever thought I would have had to.

Initially my Make It Count vision, paradigm and principles allowed me to win the day but eventually the stress, anger and anxiety of a new life started to take over.

I would love to tell you at this point that I had the strength to win, that I had the vision to be a better person and that I came to the realization that I really didn't have it that bad...I would be lying to you!

What changed my mindset was four words that had an enormous impact and state shift on my view going forward...."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!" When my wife said those four words I guarantee she had no idea the power they would have on me going forward.

What I had failed to realize was that I was not alone in this process. I had completely, selfishly, internalized my surgery and that I had to deal with it by myself.

The reality is we all have a team within our life. We all have someone we can turn to. The problem we run into is we think we don't have a team, we think that no one will listen, we think people will judge, we think that no one wants to hear my struggle and we think that we are the only person who is having issues. I fell into this trap. I thought I could handle my struggle all by myself. I was wrong as I was wanting to quit on my recovery. I resented the surgery that I very well knew would give me a better quality of life. I turned inward instead of outward. I stopped reading. I stopped writing. I wasn't exercising.

Then those four words..."YOUR TEAM IS HERE!"...turned my focus around and I realized that any struggle involves more than one person.

I started to look outward at everyone volunteering their time to help. My family, my mom, my co-workers, my neighbors, my good friends, people I didn't know well, my favorite coffee shop owner and everywhere I turned was filled with people wanting to help. They were there all along and have always been there. I was just blinded by the idea that I was at this alone.

We are surrounded by good every single day. We just chose sometimes to focus too much on the negative shades of life. We think life is happening to us and not for us.

9 weeks post surgery I know one thing for sure..."MY TEAM IS HERE!' They are with me every step of the way. I will trip up again in life and I know without a doubt it is ok. I know without a doubt that each of these people will be there once again to help me regain focus.

So next time you are struggling to find your path. STOP! Take a step back and see who is standing by you. If your alone...reach out! If you notice someone else reaching back for you...grab ahold and form a team as teamwork makes the dream work!

Make It Count!