Transactional or Transformational

Whether you know it or not you either pursue relationships as a transaction or as a transformation.

Without reading any further which type of relationship do you think you typically pursue?

Transactional Relationship or Transformational Relationship

Unfortunately most people start their day with the mindset of me, me, me. We go through our motions with the mindset of what can I get out of my relationships today.

Transactional Relationships are based on selfish actions. If nothing is in it for me then its not for me. We use others gifts for our benefit.

Transactional Relationships are focused on the one way street mentality of if you can't help me then its not meant to be.

There is an argument that a business based in transactions is successful because of those transactions. I would argue that while meeting the bottom line is important its the transformational relationship with the customer that keeps them returning for more. Its treating that customer, patient or client as more than a number. Its treating them as the most important individual you have ever come in contact with. This deeper connection transforms their belief in your company and both individuals live in mutual success.

 Transaction vs. transformation also crosses over into your personal life in how you interact with friends, family and your significant other. My wife and I are just a few weeks away from 16 years of marriage and I would like to believe that its because our relationship is based in transformation.

We wake up in the morning with the mission of raising three, strong, driven, accomplish girls but we ALWAYS make time to lift each other up. There are definitely times that selfish needs or wants insert their ugly heads but we are always consciously present to what needs to be done in order to reframe our mindsets. When we are on the same page with transformational interactions then it spreads over into our marriage, health, business, families, kids and everything we come into contact with.

If you are struggling with how to reframe your mindset from one of transactional to one of transformational then here are a few tips:

1. Ownership - There is nothing more powerful in any type of growth than ownership. When we take ownership of our thougths and actions then we take on the mindset of growth. Ownership involves getting to know everything you can about your customer or spouse. When you fully understand what it is that they need then you are able to better serve them. If something goes wrong then owning up to the problem and searching for solutions helps build strong bonds.

2. Listen - One of the most common faults of any successful relationships is the lack of TRUE listening. How many times do you fully listen without trying to formulate a response before the person is done talking? Take a deep breath, slow down and invest in the person you are dealing with. You may surprise yourself with how much you will learn from someone else when you are fully present in the conversation.

3. Communication - On the opposite side of listening is the art of talking. Sounds confusing right!?! I have seen many relationships or business fail because a lack of effective communication. My parents got divorced for a few reasons but one of them was my dads inability to deliever his emotions which then he internalized which turned into bigger problems. Companies fail when they are inefficient in delivering the proper message to their employees or customers. Have you ever heard the saying, "employees don't leave companies they leave managers." The main reason for this is along the line there was a break in effective communication and in exchange the relationship turned transactional.

4. Trust, trust, trust, trust..... - That word goes hand in hand with all successful relationships and is no different in this scenerio. Trust comes from within believing that you have what it takes to offer everyone around you value. Trust also comes from your actions. If you are late to meetings, gossip behind others backs, say you will do something and then you don't and make others feel uneasy with your actions then its almost impossible to build trust. I know my marriage with my wife is based on trust and I know that each patient I come in contact with must know first hand that I have their best interest in mind and this helps them trust me with their health.

I thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope that you gathered some golden nuggets to add to your lifestyle but what I know for sure is that if you don't practice, practice, practice and keep practicing in relationships then we always fall back into a transactional relationship. Success in any buiness relationship or personal relationshp takes consistent, deep work but the exciting piece is that with that hard work life feels pretty good.

Make It Count!!!!!!