Wednesday, March 25, 2015

When Failure Meets Success







On my way home from the bus stop this morning I started to think about what have I failed at in my life and was I able to overcome the failure to improve on who I am? While my life is far from perfect and in 38 years I have had multiple failures due to the fact that I am always trying to push the envelope there are three failures that come to mind that stand out from the rest.

I believe that sometimes the path of growth also comes from admitting your weaknesses as someone out there may be struggling and think they are on an island by themselves. We can all grow together and we can all learn from each other as long as we are willing to open up.

1. Family Connectivity - Growing up I never knew when and if I would ever have children but I always maintained a commitment to myself that when I did become a family man that it would be my first and foremost commitment. I have been married to an amazing woman for 12 years, my oldest will be an incredible 9 years old next week and life seems perfect right. Well yes when you look at my immediate family I consistently do everything I can to maximize our time. The one thing I have neglected though is my extended family. My sisters, parents and nieces/nephews have been shut out to a certain extent due to my immediate focus and lack of present time consciousness. The fix for this is simple...I need to open my life up more to family and close immediate friends as they are the ones that will always be there for me. If I shut them out now then it gives a slight jagged edge but the benefit is that no matter how sharp that edge the love and support always smooths out the process. So end game is love those around you both inside and outside your circle.

2. Closed Learning Capacity - For most of my life until I will say 2-3 years ago I really closed myself off to learning. I reached a state that I felt comfortable that I knew as much as I could and what would be the joy or benefit of investing more time into learning. Well the answer is simple...the advantage is HUGE!!! When I say learning I am not just talking about taking a class. I am talking about everything that is all encompassing surrounding being a better person today than yesterday. I have learned to listen and I mean truly listen to my wife, my children, my patients and myself. Truly listening and not thinking of a response before the person has finished will teach you more that you can imagine. I also started to listen to myself and my body. I have always pushed the limits of training but as I aged I noticed if I really tuned into who I was and how I recover that my performance increased on a quarter of the time commitment. One of the largest training tools is my commitment to reading 1-2  books a week. My Amazon wish list at times would confuse just about anyone as to what I enjoy to read. I have such a wide spectrum of items from Tony Robbins to Napoleon Hill to Tim Ferriss to How to be a better/husband dad to plant based diet books all the way to how to make your daughter think you cool!!! Learning is a tool that no one should ever close the door on. There is such great information discovered daily yet also ancient wisdom that has been around for 100's of years that can reinforce your drive to be better version of yourself.

3. Faulty circle - My reference point here is do you surround yourself with people of success? People that drive for perfection? Individuals that just by being close to them makes you a better person? Or do you surround yourself with people that lack integrity? Morals? Ethically challenged? Talk about people in a negative fashion behind their back? Always respond negatively? or always respond to a challenge you have as saying there is no way you could accomplish that? The great Napoleon Hill used the term Master Mind Group to describe how the most successful people in the history of success have a knack for surrounding themselves with like minded successful individuals. People who offer constructive advice instead of negative criticism. Individuals who help change your perspective if needed by offering better ways at doing a task. I never really gave any thought to this until I really sat down and looked at over time the people I associated myself with on a regular basis. I realized that I indeed surrounded myself with successful people and the mere thought of seeing them boosted a drive within me to be better. I however had those friends that never had anything nice to say, always complained about life (they also never did anything to improve it), set no goals and had no drive to improve their life 1% each day. As hard as it was I had to either continue to let their negative mind infiltrate my daily actions or break away. Well success is garnered from what we learn, associated and our mindset. So while I still see those friends from time to time they are not part of my Master Mind Group or circle of trust.

I hope this helps someone along the way and remember that its you that is in charge of your life. While most people think that external items (money, car, house, nice triathlon bike) is what is needed for a happy life they are wrong as its the internal items (confidence, faith, health, love, positive auto-suggestions) that drive who you really are.

Make It Count!!!!




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